Today, Let's make Space ...

So, here we are in 2023. How’s everyone doing?

Me? I am doing great Today – but with all the other days, I have days which are joyful & exciting – then there are days when I completely feel like ugghh. What have I been up to? I have been working on the content for GrandLaw YouTube channel which gave me the space to take a hiatus somewhat from my podcast.

For those who are not familiar with GrandLaw, it is an outsourcing business which I co-run with my business partner. Recently we have launched a new channel on YouTube, The Now Project – BreezeIn PeaceIn focusing on the present & the Now. In the The Now Project channel, we release monthly videos and fortnightly YouTube shorts in reels, where we bring our taste of experiences, and through words, transform them into poems & perspectives that we hope, tantalises some contemplation in our viewers. All to encourage that we continue to BE through mindfulness & awareness and to be a novice to transform from within.

On my content front, I have been writing mostly weekly post on LinkedIn on various perspectives on selfcare; and my love for poetry and writing continues. I hope you will like the new mixed flavours which I am bringing onto Nightingale podcast.

Today's podcast is an extension of a recent post I have posted on LinkedIn. It reads like this:

Today, let's make space & time to sit with ourself and ask any or all of the following questions:

🌱 What do I have to let go so I can be less cluttered?

🌱 When do I feel peace?

🌱 How would I regulate the unpleasant emotion I am feeling now?

I have gotten encouraging feedback on this posts and so I thought why don’t I sit with you to ponder upon these questions.

Here, I would like to start with one deep gentle breath in silence. Eyes closed or eyes open – it doesn’t matter – just 1 mindful breath.

In-breath 1 2 3 ...

Hold 1 2 3 ..

Out-breathe 1 2 3.

Let’s go with the first question.

🌱 What do I have to let go so I can be less cluttered?

Throughout our lives, we have been a collector. We collect things through gifts we buy or gifted by people. We gather people through our connections and friendships or even extend our families through union called marriage. We collect memories through our experiences through events that happened in our lives. Subconsciously, we may not be aware of how much we have collected. There are phases in our lives where we lose our connections with people. Or that the toys which we play with when we were younger are no longer that fun to play with now, or the stereo sitting in our room which no longer play the tune that excite us that much anymore, etc.

As seasons change – as we gain different experiences, we all changed. There are things and people in our lives which may no longer serve us the way they used to. Not to say they are no longer valuable. No – certainly that’s not it. It simply just means that as we go on with our lives, we grow and growth is a change by the way. And so our perspectives on things change. Say we used to like to own everything in store and for some reason now we prefer to own what we need and not what we have to. So, we reduce the things that we own and our home are more organised and spacious. The same goes with people. There are people where we no longer share the same values. Though it’s sad – especially those who we have been with for a long time - but if spending time with them exhaust us mentally and emotionally, maybe we need to ask ourselves if they are worth our energy & time.

When we know what & who we need to let go, and we separate from it; we make space for other events or people who could serve us with aligned vibes.

On to the 2nd question:

🌱 When do I feel peace?

This is an interesting question. When we think of peace we imagine silence, stillness and a vacuum space. No one – nothing. Just us and the space.

If any one of you listening out there is imagining the same thing – you’re not alone. We all do. Before I embark on my journey on self care, I saw peace as that vacuum space and being alone. Well…it is somewhat true cos I enjoy my alone time. But my alone time sometimes is also chaotic especially when my emotions and feelings are getting the best of me. This will be addressed in the 3rd question on emotion.

So back to peace – everyone defines peace differently but I would like to clarify that peace doesn’t mean stillness. Peace is a feeling of ease and balanced. To me there is no barometer to measure balance. One could be painting with a group of people yet they could feel peace. It is not the number of people but what’s within them. Maybe, painting itself is their peace. Just like writing. Some write just cos they love to write. Each word they pen on the paper is a sense of peace and when they complete a manuscript, it’s a sigh of fulfilment. So when we mention peace, it’s nice to consider our inner self. Sometimes I like to describe peace & balance as a feeling of non-judgemental – neither like or dislike. Just is – just as it is. A neutral feeling, perhaps.

When we can ascertain what brings us peace, we navigate our life journey with gentle focus. Maybe we can also ask, “Are we first and foremost at peace with ourself.”

Now, the 3rd question:

🌱 How would I regulate the unpleasant emotion I am feeling now?

I’ll start this with, let’s not kid ourselves that one who is at peace will not feel frustrated, annoyed, excited, etc.

Emotions and feelings are like a rollercoaster ride. We can feel happy and sad, or annoyed with things/people. It’s normal. It’s just human.

In pondering question 2, I mentioned that there are times even when I am alone, my emotions can get the better of me. Yup, it does. Before my self care journey, I did not understand these feelings. Plus I was surrounded with people who feels that my mood swings was a problem and was told that my character was hard to deal with.

But I grew to be in touch with my emotions. Every emotion arise for a reason. We just never bothered to tap into it because we tie emotions with personality and character. Mmm … I’d like to see this are all separate entity altogether.

When we have those unpleasant emotions/feelings coming up, it is easy to react to it which may sometimes aggravate it then it just leads to actions & speech which we regret somehow. But when we give space to acknowledge that this unpleasant feeling is coming up, our brains very quickly ask the question ‘Why’ we are feeling this way. Our answer to the ‘Why’ question will help us determine the next best course of action.

It may seem like a delayed response. It is not. It is more so giving ourselves the chance to understand what is the root cause of those emotions, how frequent they come up and under what circumstance it arise. That way, we can better catch ourselves when we are feeling off, able to label our emotions appropriately and respond with self awareness.

I hope you have enjoyed our sitting together in pondering these questions and continue to make space for yourself.

Give yourself the opportunities to find the answer to those questions.

Take time.

When we're ready, act on it.

With that I'd leave you with these words,

“Self care is nurturing what’s within, so we glow on the outside without too much window dressing.”

I wish for the universe to always bless each and everyone of you with strengths and peace. 🪷