Perspectives ... Are they absolute? Do you have one?

To begin, yes I believe we all have perspectives on numerous matters including of people. But are our perspectives absolute and whole?

I would say it depends a lot on our environment and experiences, and possibly whole heaps of factors.

So briefly, perspective is one’s view or opinion over something or someone as we so deemed to understand; mostly socially influenced. We are not born with a fixated perspectives, rather these can be flexed depending on who we interact with, our personality, etc.

Which means, We always see what we see.

For instance, some of us see life’s ultimate goal is happiness. Then there are some who believe peace is the ultimate goal. So, who is right? Neither is right nor wrong. Both could be right and wrong.

Many times, the example of perspectives which I’ve just shared can pass by without much thoughts to it. But there are some perspectives especially relating to politics or religion can turn a welcoming atmosphere into a heated argument. Reason why we don’t bring these topics into any conversation unless we know the participants in the conversation all too well & very open.

It is common that everyone and everybody wants their perspectives, whether in the form of decisions, suggestions, opinions, etc to be accepted with full consent.

And so when I stay in silence, I concluded in my own observation that:

1.         A lot of times, arguments stem from different understanding of one another's perspectives.

2.         Miscommunication happens when we deny ourselves from listening to the other side.

3.         Disagreements begin when our perspectives on certain matters differ.

Have you not argued ever in your life? Or get into a heated argument with people for that matter?

I am fairly confident, we have once or twice or thrice have disagreement with our colleagues, friends, partners, leaders or even children. And now with the presence of social media, everyone seems to openly share their views or perspectives in many things. Life, health, relationships, work, you name it, it’s all being shared. So it is really easy to get into any debate of that sort.

So, how do we share and when do we share our perspectives, could probably be the key to reducing disagreements or misunderstanding.

My observations have also pointed me on these factors that influence our different perspectives and I’d probably just touch briefly on 2 key points.

1. Our Upbringing which relates to values, culture & environment.

Our parents, caregivers or guardians – people who play a part in raising us have huge influence on our foundational values; exposing us to the different culture depending on how they were raised, too. You see, it is understandable that not everyone is brought up under the similar circumstances and as such, this would form our different views toward many things in life. Of course it is debatable whether our personality is innate ie genetic or it is shaped by our surroundings or the people who we spend our growing up years with. Let's take kindness for instance. Kindness is universal i.e (that is) kindness is the act of being considerate towards people and/or the situations we are in. If we have grown up witnessing our parents being kind to one another, thereby creating a harmonious environment that is filled with joy and consideration, we would perceive that kindness is given. But there could be families where family members are not considerate with one another. Or there could be people whose growing up environment is filled with conditioned kindness – meaning I’ll be kind if there’s a reward. So kindness may not be perceived the same by everyone.

And, in our upbringing settings, the language we were exposed to, as our first language and the social influence, would have effect on our perspectives. Every language spoken carries different intonation and expression. And so, when we express our perspective with a certain tone and expression, it could sometimes be misunderstood easily.

2. Our past experiences.

We all go through events in life. The Good and the not so pleasant are all part of life experiences. These experiences would definitely impact our perspectives on matters. Let’s take relationship for instance. One who has the sweetest and romantic relationship where the partner fulfils all the requirements & expectations in a marriage would say married life is such a bliss. On the contrary, if one who has gone through a rocky & maybe a painful relationship may not view marriage the same way.

Past experiences could easily caused us to perceive a matter from a narrow mindset and believe that our perspective is the only right view, for all we have been through.

For all the valid reasons, there's nothing wrong about it. I just believe we can and able to flex our mind to broaden our perspectives.

So how can we flex our view and broaden our perspectives?

Carry mindfulness & self awareness with us like how time is always attached to us. I understand that there are many version or interpretation of mindfulness by many out there. I suggest we take and receive whichever interpretation and version that fits us.

Here, I would like to say that mindfulness & self awareness helps keep our mind open by allowing patience to just listen, then seeking to understand gracefully.

When we give space to listen and understand, we can have a bigger picture into the context of the perspective. Just listening alone & practising the art of momentary silence holds a huge favour as we gently acknowledge the person’s sharing. Caution that at this stage of listening, we do not necessarily have to agree to what is shared if it doesn’t sit well with us. But by listening with awareness, we are delaying the urge to immediately call out the person to counter his/her perspective. This is especially pertinent in a conversation or discussion or meeting.

We don’t provoke and point outright what we disagree about. Instead, we can calmly tell the person that you have a slightly different thought.

Yes, it is easier said than done; and it’s a continuous work-in-progress (WIP). I know I am definitely in a WIP mode on this.

Just as everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, everyone is entitled to his/her perspectives. Accept that there’s always a 1% difference

When we read materials or hear of information from any resource, we make room for enquiry or inquiry. We can research, investigate or ponder upon it. Is it accurate? How accurate is it?

Whether we agree or disagree, understand that there are many possibilities in this world arising from the different experiences of all Beings who are living. So, our mindfulness and awareness usually helps navigate our interaction with different people within our community, even with our closed ones, through tolerance and consideration.

Even if we think we know better, I reckon, we are in no position to forsake anyone’s way of thinking in that matter.

While perspective can easily represent our frame of mind, it can be complex when mindfulness & self awareness are not part of the recipe.

So, I’d ask - Perspectives … Are they absolute?

I’ll leave you with these words,

When sharing perspectives, allow room for people to disagree. That is graceful act of a speaker.

When sharing opinion in writing, allow space for people to question. That is a graceful act of a writer.

When reading materials & we are dissimilar, there is always a tasteful way of questioning that is not confrontational. That is the graceful act of a reader & a listener.

Stay blessed all! 😊